Just finished the first season of White Collar.  Darn good show.  Smart writing and excellent acting.  I am intensely jealous of the writers who do such a good job with conflict and plot-moving.  Will I ever get good at it?

We can only hope.

Tomorrow I get to see my nephew.  I haven't seen him in a month and honestly the day after I see him, I miss him.  It's unusual for me to be that attached, but I'm okay with it.  He's just amazing.  If I had money he'd have a bigger book collection than I do (which is impressive, come see our garage if you need proof).

I sent the billionth draft of SN to my agent last weekend.  I should probably hear feedback next week.  Am I looking forward to this?  Pretty sure it's not going to be 'my goodness, you are amazing, everything is perfect let's send it to those eager publishers', so I await contact on edge.  I'm beginning to wonder why I thought being a writer was easier than being an actor.

Doesn't hurt that I'm pretty sure I'm better at writing than acting.  If this is not true, please don't correct me.

I have an interview on Monday.  For a teacher's assistant in a local school.  Cross your fingers that I get this because I think it's a good move.  Gives me an idea if I like the classroom and if I do, then I can look into geting my teaching certification.  Don't I look like a high school English/Drama teacher?  You know I do.

I've made myself a little money this summer.  Enough to deal with some bills, but a steady income would be greatly appreciated.  An independent life, even better.

Looks like the South might truly be home.  Unless I make that million and move to Dorset.  I haven't given up on my cottage near the woods yet.

based on a fun piece of fic: 




based on my last entry:

 Although, I'm not sure any of it is exciting.  I am still working at the library and very much enjoying that.  Free books to read.  It's such a brilliant idea.  I also get the joy of recommending books to people.  Or giving them a disclaimer.  For example, I checked out  Twilight (book) twice to two different girls in the last two days.  Before handing the book, I looked them in the eyes and said, "i can only give you this book if you promise to understand that giving up everything for the guy is not a good thing."  I got affirmations from both and let them take the book home.  It's not much, but it's something.  

I'm also working on the side, reading manuscripts for someone and writing reports on the books.  :)  Yeah, I get to read and respond and GET PAID FOR IT!!  sighs.  It's pretty exciting.  I just finished my first one and am at the moment summarizing the plot, which is the worst part of the report writing.  I suck at summarizing my own plots let alone someone else's.  But then I get to review.  WOOOOOOOO!

There are other things in the works, but I don't know anything yet, so be silly to share them now.  

I'm very much near the end of SN, whatever number draft this is.  Checking for typos now, and then will add a scene or two and then send it back to my agent.  Her patience is very, very nice and appreciated.  then of course I'm still working on FN....boo.  never ending and never easy.

My room is still a disaster zone as I haven't goteen around to figuring out what i'm going to do with everything.  Books in boxes, clothing still packed...it's ridiculous.  If i didn't love my books so much, I'd be tempted to get rid of them all.  But I'm a sucker for them.  It's like they love me back by telling me stories.

  Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I don't meditate nor prescribe to eastern religion, but I totally enjoyed this book. Her observations were more often than not, right on and even though I will never live the life Ms. Gilbert lives, I found I could relate to a lot. Well worth reading for any woman from any background. Can't wait for the movie.I must say though, I wonder if it would have been as successful had she not found love/a man at the end of her journey.

View all my reviews >>

Funnily enough, I've been thinking about this off and on the last few years.  I used to think, of course, I want to be a mom.  Lately, though, I wasn't sure.

If I find someone and get married, then sure, bring on a few kids.

If I don't, but if I'm ever financially able, I've decided I'm going to adopt.  Especially if I'm a full-time writer.  I'm thinking sometime in my thirties.  

And if I'm never financially able, I'll just continue being the best Auntie to my friends' kids and my brother's kids I can be.

Easy.  Dorothy L. Sayers.  We write completely different things, but in two sentences she can say what it takes me paragraphs to say.  She sets the scene well, dialogues well and draws great characters, even characters that show up just for a moment.  

I recommend Strong Poison to illustrate this.  Amazing book.

Albeit she was way smarter than I'll ever be, but still.  I'd take her skills as a writer any day.  And yes, permanently.  :)

It was Pam's idea, I'd like to point out, but as I have been thinking a lot lately about guys and my future with or without one, this conversation seemed apropos (is that how you spell it?).

Anyway, I have this thing.  Defect, you might call it.  About liking younger guys.  There are obvious exceptions to this rule.  Andrew Lee Potts (older by a few years, but he does look young, so that definitely plays into it) and Alexander Skarsgard (because you'd have to be a wooden post not to be attracted to him, no matter what your type was).

But you know, Zac Efron, Jacob Black (not Taylor Lautner, mind you.  The character who is way too young for me)...and others I could mention, but I don't feel like opening myself up to too much ridicule.

But I have a new one.  Logan Lerman (of Percy Jackson fame).  Creepy thing is that I did see his TV show Jack and Bobby way back when, when he was like 12/13 years old and I fancied the guy who played his older brother, Matt Long.  But he is eighteen now.  Logan.  Which you know means, legal.  

So this is the conversation on gchat between Pam and I.  For your better understanding a 'wtf' is a type of story that me, pam, and steff write.  Wishful Thinking Forever.  As well as what else wtf can stand for.

( chat convo and pictures )

 Okay, so actually I've seen all of series 2, 3, and 4.  I'd forgotten.  And now add on 'Planet of the Dead' and 'Waters of Mars' (which made me sad).  'End of Time' both parts is not available on Netflix at the moment, so does anyone have a good place where I can see it?  Cause I really, really want to see the end of the 10th Doctor.  Well, not really.  I want him to last forever, but I want to see the transition.  :)

But since most of it was instant watching on Netflix, I didn't get any of the special features which I so love, so guess what's been added to my Amazon wishlist?  Yup.  Doctor Who.

And this is how my mind works.  In watching all this, seeing several women kiss the Doctor (like James Bond, but you know, cleaner), I realized that my literary critic kicked in.  He's the Christ figure (because every epic has the sacrificial hero)/ Peter Pan (doesn't grow up and can never stay, but women seem to adore him anyway).

So, now I want to write a paper on that.  Or a book (although I'd bet there's pop critic books on that exact topic already).  How completely nerdy am I?

I suppose this is why I like livejournal so much.  It's not my other blog.  The one my folks read, the one that imports to my facebook so people who actually interact with me can read it.

I don't hide this.  There's a link to my lj on my other blog.  But it's like it's safe to say anything here.  Anything I'm feeling, even if it's just the overthinkings of my hormonal mind.

I feel ill when my dearest friends use the term 'need' like this: I need to see him.  I want to be with him.  I want to be married now, live with him now.  Have to.  Need to.  Want to.

Which in all logic thought in regards to what I understand about romantic love, makes sense.  If you're gonna marry someone, you better really want to be with him.

But 'need'?  'Have to'?

My stomach twists and I feel disgusted.  Like it shows weakness and even though I would never describe myself as a strong person (ever), I get so turned off by this expression of weakness.  Or vulnerability, if you like.

Pam thinks I'm thinking too much and she is probably (more than probably) right.  But I have wondered for awhile now if I am meant to be single.  If you can decide such a thing at 29 years of age.  

Is this gut reaction of mine, my answer?  Is my love of romance something just embedded in me by society (I'm blaming you, Disney Princess movies)?  Is it not truly something of me?

And obviously, this is not a definite answer.  I don't think we get that definite answer until we're dead.  Cause everything and anything can change at any moment. 

But I wonder.  Cause it's gonna take some really amazing guy to help me get over that reaction to weakness.  And in my 29 years, I haven't seen an amazing guy yet.  Not for me anyway.

With everyone, nearly every single friend of mine having found someone special, I can't help my think there's something not connecting in my brain right.  An electrical impulse that's wonky (way too much British media of late, obviously).  If I could let go of my desire for romance in regards to me (not my stories, because that is needed when I write), I would.  I would shut it off.  Every time I meet a guy that sparks something in me.  Attraction, laughter, intelligence, kindness.  I would stop thinking 'do i like him?  would he like me?  can i get him to like me?  am i laughing too much, too loud, talking too much, saying too much too openly?  do i tell him?'

Like a light switch, I'd flip it off.

but after watching all of series 4 Doctor Who (and I'm still missing a bit of the first three series), I am definitely a fan.

But I was sure I'd be when I saw that first episode when I had just moved to England and was in a B&B with my folks.  'Last of the Time Lords'  Saw like half of it and thought, this is odd, but interesting.

:)

Have to admit, David Tennant is one sexy man.  Geeks on TV really always are.  Reid (Criminal Minds), Xander (Buffy), and of course, Connor (Primeval).

I love fictional men.  ;)